Where am I from?

In response to: The Arrogant Rudeness of Asking Me Where I’m From

As a descendant of European immigrants, I would be classified as "white". (My father was born in the Netherlands, my mother in Massachusetts with a French, Canadian background.) However, I also have trouble with the question "Where are you from?" having nothing to do with my racial background. That is because I fit into two categories. I am both a Third Culture Kid and a Military Brat, with the Brat component having the biggest influence on my life.

My father was in the US Navy and we constantly moved around. By the time I was three years old, I had twice crossed the country by car, sitting on the front floor between my mother’s feet. (No seat belts in those days.) I lived in Massachusetts, San Francisco, and Maryland. I went to elementary school in Cuba, Junior High in California, and High School in the Philippines.

The Brat factor was also important because we lived on the local US Navy base in Cuba and the Philippines. Military bases were considered “little America”, reducing the impact of the local culture.

There were many local children, whose parents had joined the US Navy, in our classes. I remember them being the ones that us kids looked up to, because of their being connected to the local culture. Being local was important. White privilege tended to be inverted if you were of Cuban or Filipino descent, but only among the children.

However, during this pre-civil rights period, the segregation policies of that era were strictly enforced when it came to black American children. Not in writing, but subconsciously by everyone. I remember, as a junior in High School, feeling sorry for a black, female senior, because she had to invite the only other black student in the school to the senior ball. A black male freshman. No other option was available to her. Enlisted black sailors were especially off the table.

There were also other types of segregation. A major one being the class segregation between officers and enlisted. Having been raised as the child of an enlisted man, life changed dramatically for us in the Philippines, because my father was now an officer. As the oldest child, that transition was never completed, with many of my best friends being “enlisted” kids. Basically, I really wasn’t comfortable with the attitudes of many of the “officer” kids.

In many ways, I am actually glad to be a Third Culture Kid. The experience brought with it a wider understanding of what it means to be human. What I have also learned over the years is that the culture of every community you have lived in or every social group you have belonged to will impact your spirit. Some times for good. Other times not so good. Only time will tell.

Think of all the many people who were members of the Boy/Girl Scouts of America and how warmly many of them talk about the positive impact those social groups had on their lives.

Also, consider the conflicting memories of being in the military that many service people have based on where and when they served. Consider the depth of impact that service has on some lives, both positively and negatively. Don’t forget the many who still suffer because of their memories of that experience.

Bottom-line:

My answer when asked about where I am from is always the same. I am from wherever I live today.

My prayer for you is that you are able to find a place with happiness and peace, that you can call home.